"Well... damn."  A shocking, curly redhead exhaled loudly, blowing wisps of smoke into swirls around her face; the smoking had become a recent past time.  She bumped her forehead against the palm of her hand and pinched a cigarette between her index and middle finger.  Ashes fell listlessly onto the bar counter.  Her eyes had dark circles like she hadn't slept in days, which did little to detract from the disheveled appearance of blue jeans and dark green, short-sleeved hoodie. 

The bartender offered another glass but she waved it away, her mind still hung up on a previous confrontation.

"Fuck you, Eliana.  You don't know shit!"

Jadyn had stood defiant in his grandfather's church valiantly defending himself from her barrage of blunt cruelty as the rest of the family looked on, Sophia's body limp where it lay prone and lifeless on a nearby pew.  At least his mother hadn't been there to witness the animosity.

"...you're just trying to regain God's favor again by doting on our family all the time!"

Eliana shook her head and mumbled a reply under her breath, "Ah... far from it, kiddo."

"Rough night?"

She glanced up at the bartender--quite popular with her patrons for her spunky personality but more so with her male patrons for her enormous bust--and forced a smile.  "You could say that."

"This stuff always passes."

"...that it does."

"It's that boy, isn't it?"

"Am I so predictable?"

"Not like you used to be, Winston."

"Don't call me that."

The bartender laughed aloud, her voice a high shrill that was disturbing to anyone that didn't get to know her.  It grew less irritating over time; the men just let their eyes wander to the small heart-shaped tattoo that stuck out like a sore thumb in her cleavage.  Sheila didn't mind, that's what it was there for after all.  "My point stands, sugar."

"Point taken.  May I have another?  Perhaps I can construct a fort."

Sheila tossed her hair back over her shoulder and burst into laughter again.  Bright dirty blond curls bounced across her shoulders gaily, accentuated by the dark too-thickly-applied mascara she applied every night before work.  Though a bit... robust, Eliana found that she appreciated the woman's temperament and enjoyed her company.  She was as good a friend as Seyona, though much more carefree.  Their banter was their trademark. 

There would be no retort to Eliana's previous quip for a while, though, as a customer was calling for another beer. In Sheila's wake, a single glass of scotch appeared in the space before her.  She tapped the tip of her cigarette against the rim and let the ashes fizzle out, ruining the drink.

"...El?"

The former fallen glanced out of the corner of her eye and spotted Seyona's son standing in the doorway of the bar, staring at her awkwardly as the door chime quieted.  He stepped inside and let the door rattle shut behind him, then approached her.  "What are you doing here?  I never thought I'd find you of all people in here."

"I suppose we all have our vices, don't we?"  She broke his gaze and stared back into the scotch, taking a drag on the cigarette.  "Have a seat."

Jadyn pulled up a stool beside her and turned his gaze to the counter, perhaps hoping to burn a hole in the wood with his sheer focus.  Their fight earlier had not quite passed yet and the two were loath to converse lest the emotions flare up once more.  Somehow, though, alcohol magically appeared before him without him ever seeing the bartender.  El glanced down the way in time to catch a wink from Sheila.  The bitch.

She hesitated a moment, lifting her head slightly to brush her hair back with the pinky and ring finger of the hand holding the cigarette.  Somehow it felt like it should have been some cold winter night, with snow billowing at the window and people in scarves irritating the rest of the patrons by opening the door and letting in a chill wind.  But it was a typical mild night like any other.  People chattered and the television blared stories of predictions about the new president, someone shouted an order, another group burst into laughter over some inside joke. 

Seyona would have known what to do right now; she would have known what to say.

"...how's your sister?"

"No change."

"I see."  They lapsed into a weird silence again.

Someone had managed to snag the remote when Sheila wasn't looking and turned the channel for content other than politics.  Various channels flitted on and off as the patron had trouble deciding, though he did pause on a news story about local unexplained murders.

"They ever find out who did that yet?"  A woman at his table asked, eyes fixed on the story.

The news reporter described the autopsy reports, instances where it seemed the victims had just shut down like they'd run out of power.  Even though they were found in suspicious locations, there were no signs of a struggle, no wounds, and no symptoms of other diseases found yet.  It was starting to be called into question whether these were really murders or cases of an unidentified disease outbreak.  The health department had been contacted for more information but nothing had been disclosed yet.

The guy with the remote shrugged and changed the channel, finally settling on a football game.  A few of his buddies around the bar gave a raucous cheer.

Eventually, Eliana turned to look at Jadyn's face.  She'd never been honest with him about herself, partially due to inexperience in doing so, but she supposed it was about time she quit with the high and mighty has all the answers facade.  "Jadyn, I'm sorry for what I said back there.  You didn't deserve that."

He did turn to look at that, narrowing his eyes.  "What?"

"I said I'm sorry."  Her voice was thick with regret.

Jay continued to search her face as if the explanation were written there to be found if he looked hard enough.  She didn't hide anything from him; her mixed bag of feelings were displayed in her features.  Confusion, loss, stress, doubt... and the need to light up again.  She sat up straight and dropped her used up cigarette into her ashtray cocktail and then pulled out the pack, offering one to Jadyn.  He took one for himself, pulled out a lighter as she grabbed one for herself, and lit them both up.

Jay raised an eyebrow like his father usually did, "No need to waste a good drink like that, you know."

She smiled and tapped the ashes into the glass again, "I was trying to make a point to a friend is all."  They both enjoyed their vices momentarily, letting the stress melt away. 

Then, "I don't know if I can do this."

"...do what?"  He asked, not having a clue what she meant.

"...this." She replied, as if that would resolve all his queries.  After a moment, she continued.  "Before, I really did have all the answers.  Everything was His work, and now, it's all on my shoulders."

Jay kept very quiet.

"I liked having all the answers for you, being this fountain of wisdom that would solve all your problems.  I did that to your mom and dad, too.  Sophia never let me in, but I was okay with that because I... I had you, I guess.  As strange as that sounds.  After falling again, it was so difficult to adjust to human life.  You all teased me about being a robot... but that's all I really knew how to be."

"El..."

"That's why I said the things I did.  I thought I was doing good, rationally... logically solving the problem by putting it in front of you.  But now I see I just made things worse.  I didn't even realize... I don't know if I can cope with not knowing how to fix this.  I don't see the end in sight, I have no answers..."  Eliana would cry no tears as she grappled with these difficult emotions and it was then that he noticed she wasn't wearing her sunglasses or her contacts.  The milky, pupil-less eyes were far from empty though.  Her head drooped into her hands, her hair falling like a curtain, the cigarette clattering against the counter and rolling absently toward her glass.

"How do you face a future you can't see?"